Myka: Oh my god, tell me there's cereal.
Steve: When is Abigail back from her trip?
Pete: Why? She doesn't cook either.
Steve: No, but she orders in really well.
Steve: Tell me there's something else behind door number 2.
Artie: No, but thanks for playing.
Pete: I thought Halloween was like Gay Christmas. You don't like costumes?
Steve: I'm not a cliche. I don't watch the Oscars either.
Pete: Really? Hmm, maybe I'm gay.
Steve: How many jesters can there be?
King: Look around. And that's just the line to the john.
Claudia: So, since we don't have the artifact that turned my sister into Carrie, we can't neutralize it.
Claudia: I think a little danger is worth it, don't you?
Steve: If you don't answer my question, this puppet is going to see parts of you that not even your doc...
Claire: I'm thirty years old? How can I be thirty years old?
Steve: Okay, neat trick. Now what the hell?
Pete: Not so fast there, Ozzie Osbean.
Artie: Alice, are you in there? Woah, 'kay, sorry. Just go back to planning ways to kill me.
Madame Doria: I haven't cursed anyone in years. Not since my ex-husband. Ribbit ribbit.
Pete: You know they're just using you, right?
Claire: Wow! How did coffee get to be so expensive?
Madame Doria: Dammit, I'm getting old. I used to be faster than the KGB.
Steve: How bad could it be?
Pete: Well, you had to ask?
Artie: Please don't hug me. The only thing that could make this worse is you seeing me cry.