Quotes from Elementary - Season 3
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Elana March: I know how crazy this is making you, trying to convince everyone I'm some sort of mastermind, but it's fiction.
Marcus Bell: There's about to be a murder. I'm going to kill our star witness.
Joan Watson: Here's my card. If he goes missing again, I'm really good at finding things.
Joan Watson: She's going to ask me to adopt her, isn't she?
Elana March: If you don't like harassment, maybe stalking is a better fit.
Joan Watson: There is no partnership – you ended it in that note you left me eight months ago.
Joan Watson: But the truth is, you were right – I didn't need you anymore. I still don't.
Thomas Gregson: Tell me you didn't come here to do parlour tricks.
Sherlock Holmes: It was a difficult time, it was... I was thinking of no one but myself.
Thomas Gregson: It must have been a day that ended with Y.
Thomas Gregson: But our relationship, it's a means to an end as much to me as it is to you. We just never said that out loud before.
Kitty Winter: I don't work for anyone, I'm his new partner.
Kitty Winter: She's the original model, the one you never shut up about. You didn't think I wanted to see what she's got that I don't?
Sherlock Holmes: Don't be sorry, be better.
Joan Watson: Is this what you call "staying out of my case?"
Kitty Winter: You should know, I have a stun-gun, just in case.
Sherlock Holmes: It was, literally, the perfect crime.
Kitty Winter: Did you forget, you handcuffed me to a chair down here.
Sherlock Holmes: Isn't it obvious? I belong here, as do you.
Sherlock Holmes: You're as keen of an observer as ever, detective. Soon you'll deduce it is daytime and we are standing in a police station.
Kitty Winter: Yeah, 'cause no one's ever faked being surprised.
Joan Watson: He's just still in that "hogging whatever time he gets with me" phase.
Marcus Bell: I look at this new girl... stable's not the first word that comes to mind.
Kitty Winter: I was trying something.
Sherlock Holmes: Yes, something stupid.
Sherlock Holmes: I would have thought that you, more that most, would be unwilling to allow a murderer to roam free simply because the wold accepts an inaccurate count of things.
Mr. Azeem: Please, tell me what you want me to say and I will say it.
Joan Watson: Sure, but who bumps into their "bin Laden" in the street but doesn't tell anyone.
Angela White: I've done nothing but cooperate with you, but now you're insulting me. Get out!
Joan Watson: What have you gotten Captain Gregson into?
Agent Boden: Your word you won't ever come after me for any of it.
Thomas Gregson: Depends on what I hear.
Joan Watson: If it had come out that Openshaw walked because she lost evidence, the press would have eaten her alive. Her political career would have been over before it even started.
Angela White: I'm an assistant U.S. Attorney, I'm going to have your badge for this.
Sherlock Holmes: I believe she will make an excellent investigator, just not today.
Sherlock Holmes: They say that genius is an infinite capacity of taking pains.
Kitty Winter: Sherlock keeps saying that I need to get a better sense of you, and maybe that will give you a better sense of me.
Sherlock Holmes: Phillips is arguably the greatest knife thrower in the world, has been for decades, and there's little money to be made in the impalement arts , so as a youth he turned to what you Americans term "football".
Sherlock Holmes: 15 years he's spent throwing that misshapen ball around. 15 years. When I think of the acclaim he could have brought to competitive blade slinging...
Harlan Emple: I was not "found" there; I am the one who called 9-1-1. I was waiting there for the police.
Kitty Winter: You know where to send the cheque.
Sherlock Holmes: You had sex.
Joan Watson: Excuse me?
Harlan Emple: Did he fire me?
Andrew Paek: I swear, I usually wear pants.
Sherlock Holmes: Watson seems adequately sexed.
Joan Watson: Excuse me, but I am not Kitty's mother, and she is sure as hell not our child.
Sherlock Holmes: There is a moral in there: games are for idiots.
Sherlock Holmes: A flame war does not a murderer make.
Paul Ettinger: If two people weren't dead, we'd probably be having fun.
Sherlock Holmes: Did you honestly think I wouldn't recognize an anagram of my own name?
Harlan Emple: I know I should have gone with Choker Hell Moss.
Harlan Emple: You catch people who murder other people, I catch people who murder math.
Sherlock Holmes: It wasn't the maths, it was you.
Sherlock Holmes: The process, I find, is not unlike voiding one's bowels.
Harlan Emple: I can't believe I drank his water.
Kitty Winters: Busy? You're watching a turtle eat lettuce.
Edwin Borstein: A few weeks back, she made a request that can't be accounted for by her programming.
Sherlock Holmes: Impossible.
Kitty Winters: So, in other words, you don't really know what you're going to do.
Sherlock Holmes: I'm going to need some time with the machine.
Joan Watson: You are not planning on destroying the computer, are you?
Joan Watson: Just ride it out. If he starts hitting things, use the fire extinguisher on him.
Sherlock Holmes: But I'm not being paid, so I'm free to work as the muse dictates.
Sherlock Holmes: And besides, until five minutes ago, you were perusing a garden-variety burglar, now you're after Raffles himself. Of course I'm joining in.
Sherlock Holmes: Unless the machines rise tonight, we have a murder to solve.
Sherlock Holmes: I suppose I should be flattered that you think I'm capable of manipulating events to that degree of detail.
Joan Watson: Is this even music?
Joan Watson: How could anyone work with this on?
Sherlock Holmes: It's rather like rubbing a belt sander over one's brain. There are moments when that's necessary.
Sherlock Holmes: Feel free, if you'd like, to take a moment to admire the beauty of this theory, because I've done so several times already myself.
Sherlock Holmes: I've got no desire to banish the man to Scandi-bloody-navia.
Joan Watson: Kinda feel like hugging you right now.
Issac Pyke: You might want the world to believe you're an automaton, a calculating machine, but you and I know better.